Get a Haircut
by Anonymous Donor
Summary: (AU, OOC, POV) Duo and the boys are stars, or at least are trying. Parents just get in the way.


GET A HAIRCUT (David Avery)  
  
By Anonymous Donor  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No, seriously, they're not. Dude, I mean it, I don't own 'em.  
  
Warnings: A bit of OOC (a bit… yeah, right…), Duo's POV, AU  
  
Pairings: 2xH  
  
//lyrics//  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
//I was a rebel from the day I left school//  
  
"NO! I'm not going back to that fascist hell hole they call an education system!" I scream at the two programmed units that call themselves parents. They've been trying this for weeks.  
  
//Grew my hair long and broke all the rules//  
  
"Duo, it's either go back to school or not live in my house," my father stated, as if this threat was going to change my ways. I just sit and rebraid my hair instead. Who cares? I was going to get kicked out for poisoning the lab rats and gophers anyway.  
  
//I'd sit and listen to my records all day//  
  
Rolling my eyes at the scene, I walk out on another, "you're throwing your life away" speech and save my brain because it will explode if I hear that one again. I just flop onto my bed and turn on my music. Ah, my only comfort…  
  
//With big ambitions of where I could play//  
  
Maybe we'll play in Cleveland or Detroit or somewhere big where all our fans will rave and try to get on the stage. Yeah, that's what'll happen…  
  
//My parents taught me what life was about//  
  
I can remember my parents sitting me down for the talk about life, what you make of it is what you get out of it and all that bullshit. 'Hard work and perseverance, son. That's what will get you through.' Yeah, right dad. I've heard that one quite a few times. Life a bitch goddess, isn't it?  
  
//So I grew up the type they warned me about//  
  
Did they really think I wanted to grow up just like them? Have sensible job where I sit behind a desk all day with my thumb up my ass, taking notes for a boss that only wants to fondle his secretary? I think not.  
  
"Duo! Get down here this instant!" Well, there goes the bitch siren…  
  
//They said my friends were just an unruly mob//  
  
"What do you want, MOM?" She makes me call her mom. You wanna talk evil step-mother? This is her. I can almost see the fangs, horns and pointy tail. She-demon extraordinaire Helen. Give me a break.  
  
"Duo, your father and I think you ought to find some new friends." Oh, great. This one again. "The ones you have now, like that Wupay and Cherol- "  
  
"Wufei and Heero." I interrupt and get a devilish glare. Yeeeeesh.  
  
"They aren't very good role models. Look at what they've done to that poor Quarter kid!"  
  
"It's Quatre, Helen. And Quatre crossed over by his own will because his parents are overbearing self-absorbed hypocrites. Kind of like you." I smile sweetly while she sputters.  
  
//And i should get a haircut and get a real job//  
  
"Duo, it's time for you to get a real job." NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! For all the world, I beg of thee! A thousand times no!  
  
//Get a haircut and get a real job  
  
Clean your act up and don't be a slob//  
  
"Son, it will be good for you. We'll take you to get a haircut and a new suit so you can go for interviews." This is my dad trying to reason with me.  
  
"No way. Never again," I tell them stubbornly. Why won't they listen? I'm gonna make it big someday!  
  
//Get it together like your big brother bob  
  
Why don't you get a haircut and get a real job//  
  
"Solo has a good job and he's happy-"  
  
"Oh, great! Now you're comparing me to him again? Why can't you guys knock this shit off?"  
  
//I even tried that 9 to 5 scene//  
  
"You've tried it before, Duo. You just up and quit on Ms. Une!" Duh, Dad. She was a paranoid schizophrenic. She scared the shit out of me.  
  
//I told myself that it was all a bad dream//  
  
"Yeah, I did, Dad. And it was hellacious work. There is no way I'm going back out into the rat race!" Still being stubborn and Dad's got that look on his face like he's about to bust a vein.  
  
//I found a band and some good songs to play//  
  
"You know my music career is going to take off soon! We're already playing at clubs and the battle of the bands!"  
  
"It's not good for you, Duo!" Great… Helen comes in again with the "you're a good boy" shit. I can feel it. "You're a good boy, Duo. You could do much better in life."  
  
//And now I party all night, I sleep all day//  
  
"But I'm happy where I am! I like sleeping in and going out at night!" Oh, the glares I get…  
  
"You're going to get a job or you're going to get out of my house." How many times has he tried that one.  
  
"Too bad I'm a minor, huh, Dad? Looks like you're stuck with me! I've got a date. I'll be home around 3 or 4."  
  
//I met this chick she was my No.1 fan//  
  
"Yo, Hilde-baby! Come on! We're gonna be late!" Damn, but she's hot! Those big blue eyes… I'll just melt now…  
  
"Duo! Come here!"  
  
//She took me home to meet her mommy and dad//  
  
"What's up, babe? Something wrong?" She just smiles sweetly at me and grabs my arm.  
  
"Nothing's wrong. My parents just want to see my star lead singer for Ring of Fire!" Oh, shit… Not the 'rents…  
  
//They took one look at me and said ("oh my god")  
  
Get a haircut and get a real job//  
  
"Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Duo!" They look at me in horror, looking at my hair and clothes. What? Are leather pants, a white silk shirt and leather fingerless gloves too much?  
  
"Oh… my… God… Kid, you need a haircut and a real job! You're living a fantasy!"  
  
//Get a real job, why don't you get a real job  
  
Get a real job, why don't you get a real job//  
  
"Yeah, well, to hell with you too," I say as I escort Hilde out the door. Her parents still look horrified. Maybe it was the black lipstick…  
  
//I hit the big time with my rock 'n' roll band//  
  
"Okay, guys, let's try it again from the begin-" I'm interrupted by someone knocking on our shed. Practice better not be getting screwed up by one of the parental units. I open the door to see a blonde guy.  
  
"Hi, I'm Milliardo Peacecraft of Peacecraft Records. I want to sign you guys."  
  
//The future's brighter now than I'd ever planned//  
  
"Holy shit!" I think Quatre just fainted. Heero looks ahead like no one's there. Trowa tunes his guitar. Wufei taps the bass drum lightly.  
  
"So, you guys gonna make a record, or are you signed with someone else?"  
  
//I'm ten times richer than my big brother bob//  
  
"Helen, Dad, I'm home!" First time in three months. They rush out and see I haven't changed one bit. "Guess what? I'm a star! Told you I'd make it big. I'm just here on a stop to see if you've got any grub. The restaurants here are shit."  
  
//And he, he's got a haircut he's got a real job//  
  
I don't think they can understand why I'm a rich son of a bitch when Solo's stuck in a dead end job making minimum wage when he was just like them. Hm… Go figure.  
  
//Why don't you get a haircut and get a real job//  
  
Get a haircut and a real job. I've got my cut and I've got a real job. Woops! Milliardo's callin'. It's show time! 


End file.
